Icould smell the alcohol on her breath and knew now whyshe’d been a bit weird on the trip over. booze alwayshad strange and unpredictable effect... on my family andJill was no exception.The auto-washer started it’s cycle surrounding us withsuds and jets of water. Our eyes met, and at thatmoment we knew it all,. We each knew what the otherwanted but had never had dared to ask for.For a moment I looked away, ashamed of myself, and atthat moment two things happened; firstly, the. If, that last time I talked to ‘Jenova’, she would have said something like, ‘I lied to you about everything, I have no feelings for you, don’t call me, don’t come see me,’ and hung up, I would have been CRUSHED, but I would have, over time, been able to accept it and slowly recover from it. But right now, I have no definite solutions. I simply don’t know. If she told me the truth and said I really don’t love you and don’t want to talk to you anymore, I would have been hurt, but I would have. This happened because my chachi used to take utmost care of me. She loved me a lot and fulfilled all my requirements. She almost filled the place of my mother. I never looked at my chachi from that perspective until I was 18 yrs old. By that time my chachi and I were emotionally very close to each other. We used to share our joys and sorrows together. I never hesitated I expressing myself in front of my chachi as was I very frank with her. This frankness was a result of my stay with her for 3. She was dressed like a slutty librarian which normally would have given me pause to appreciate her assets. My mind wandered upon the memory of the librarian I had been with who was truly the part, quiet and intelligent with a whole lot going on under her glasses and clothes. She wore her clothes in such a way to leave some to the imagination, yet she was womanly enough to hint at what lay beneath. She had been quite skilled, an avid reader, and open to experiment. Sometimes I was still.
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